Rocky Road Read online

  my parents said no. can u believe that!

  A second later, a message from Rev appears.

  Mine too. Im sorry Shawna. :(

  wat r we gonna do? Shawna texts back.

  UGH I H8 MY PARETNS! Cass texts.

  urs say no too? Shawna asks.

  YA THR LAME AND STUPID Cass texts.

  Shawna figures Cass got into another fight with her parents, even though she promised not to. She screams into her pillow again. Screwed. Totally screwed.

  She can’t let this opportunity pass them up. She can’t! There has to be some way to make their parents understand, some way to get them to agree . . .

  Or maybe . . . maybe they don’t need their parents to agree after all. Maybe they could—and Shawna feels guilty just thinking about this—sneak out?

  She texts her bandmates before she can lose her nerve.

  i have an idea

  tell Cass texts.

  u have the keys to the van rite? Shawna replies.

  ya Cass writes.

  so lets just take it Shawna texts.

  Her phone lights up with a series of NOs from Rev, covering Cass’s enthusiastic YES!!!

  Rev is nervous. Shawna is nervous, too, but Cass was right. They need to get out of that garage. She pulls up Rev’s contact information and calls her.

  “This is a bad plan,” Rev says as soon as she picks up.

  “Look, I know it’s risky,” Shawna says, “but we might not get another opportunity like this. Not for a long time, at least.”

  “Can’t we just wait? Our parents will kill us!”

  “If we wait now, all we’re ever gonna be doing is waiting. I don’t really like going behind our parents’ backs, either, but they gave us no choice. Come on, girl. People deserve to hear your music. It’s time to Rev it up.”

  Shawna got Rev to do a lot using that phrase, ever since they were kids. So much so that it became her nickname. She dragged Rev onto roller coasters, convinced Rev to learn guitar so she could play the music she was always humming to herself, and got her to help create the BSDs.

  She can practically hear Rev turning things over in her mind on the other end of the line.

  “Are you sure it’s time for that?” Rev asks.

  “Why not? I’ve seen you. You love the music. You love playing it. This is that, just at the next level.”

  Rev takes a breath. “Okay,” she says, “let’s Rev it up.”

  “Yeah!” Shawna falls back onto her bed, pumping her fists in the air.

  SHAWNA CAN FEEL HERSELF SHAKING WITH THE beginnings of a cold sweat. In theory, jumping out of her bedroom window at night and onto the roof of her garage is a great idea. Looking at it now, her mind runs through a million possibilities of how it could go horribly wrong. What if she misjudges the distance? What if she loses her footing? What if the duffel bag slung over her shoulder tips her the wrong way?

  She bites down on these fears and steps onto the windowsill. She looks down once again. What if the shaking is what does her in? What if some kind of survival response makes things worse instead? She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

  In.

  And out.

  She turns onto her stomach and skooches backwards until only her upper body is still on the windowsill. She takes another deep breath.

  In.

  And out.

  She pushes backwards and she’s hanging out the window. Her feet don’t reach the roof of the garage. She thought they would. She was betting on that. She panics for a second and considers screaming for her dads.

  No.

  She’s come this far. She has to go all the way. She takes another, shakier breath.

  In.

  And out.

  And she lets go of the windowsill.

  Her feet touch the roof of the garage immediately. She almost bursts into laughter. She’s fine. She didn’t fall, she didn’t break a leg, and she didn’t make too much noise.

  She lowers her shaking body into a sitting position, waiting to see headlights in the dark. From here, she can jump onto the roof of Cass’s van. She hopes. She looks down. Again, it seems farther than she bargained for. She tells herself that there’s no helping that, now. She has to do what she has to do and if she doesn’t, her dads can get her down in the morning.

  She really hopes it won’t come to that.

  She pulls her duffel bag into her lap and watches the road, checking her watch every couple of minutes.

  An hour later and the van still isn’t there. What is the hold up? She texts Cass and Rev, but gets no answer. She’s in the middle of convincing herself that her bandmates would never abandon her when she sees headlights coming down the road.

  Cass’s van pulls into the driveway. She cuts the engine, sticks her head out the driver’s side window, and waves, stuffing some kind of chip into her mouth.

  Shawna squints. “Did you stop for snacks?” she whisper-yells down at her.

  “We can’t go on a road trip without snacks,” Cass whisper-shouts back up at her.

  “You couldn’t have come to get me first? I’ve been up here for an hour!”

  “The gas station is on the way here! And Rev didn’t help me!”

  Rev pokes her head out of the other window. “I told her we should have gotten you first!” she whisper-yells.

  “Did you get a snack?”

  “Well, I mean, we were already there . . . ” Rev says.

  Shawna buries her face in her hands and lets out a muffled scream.

  “We got you something, too!” Cass says.

  “It had better have chocolate in it!” Shawna says. She scoots closer to the edge of the garage roof. In the hour that she was waiting, the shaking subsided, but it’s back again. It’s a far way down to the roof of the van, but she tries to tell herself that it’s closer than she’s making it out to be.

  Rev climbs out of the passenger’s side and holds her arms up. Shawna tosses the bag down and Rev nearly topples over when she catches it.

  Cass snorts. “Hey!” she whisper-shouts up to Shawna, an amused grin never leaving her face. “If you hurt yourself, I’ve got a spare wheelchair!”

  “Screw you!” Shawna whisper-shouts down to her. She is nervous enough already. She doesn’t need to think any more about getting hurt. She takes a deep breath.

  In.

  And out.

  And she dangles off the edge of the roof. She just did this, she tells herself. The drop will be shorter than she’s imagining it, but she doesn’t want to let go. She looks down.

  Her grip tightens on the edge of the roof. She’s not going to let go. She can’t. The drop she saw was way too far. She tries to pull herself back up, but she can’t do that either. She’s stuck and her arms are starting to hurt.

  She is about to scream and maybe start crying when she feels someone grab her legs.

  “It’s okay,” she hears Rev say. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. You can let go, it’s fine.”

  Shawna feels like she can breathe again.

  In.

  And out.

  She lets go and both girls topple onto the roof of the van. She wraps her arms around Rev in a tight hug. Rev hugs her back.

  “See? It’s all fine,” Rev says. Her voice sounds as shaky as Shawna’s body feels. Whatever kind of friendship-adrenaline had caused Rev to climb onto the van must be wearing off.

  “Hey! Are you two done?” Cass says, leaning as far as she can out of her window. “We have a time limit, you know.”

  Shawna gives Cass an annoyed look. Where was this attitude when she stopped to get snacks? Shawna lets go of Rev and helps her up, then they help each other off of the roof of the van and open the back doors. They pull the ramp and Cass’s spare wheelchair out and go to open the garage. Shawna crouches at one end and Rev crouches at the other. They count in unison.

  “One, two, three!” They lift the door. All three bandmates wince at the sound it makes, then stare at Shawna’s house in dead silence for a mome
nt. No lights flick on and no one marches out of the door, demanding to know what is going on, so they let out a collective breath and enter the garage.

  They survey their equipment. Cass’s drum set? Check. Speakers and microphones? Check. Miscellaneous wires? Check. Music folders? Check.

  In.

  And out.

  “Okay.” Shawna unfolds Cass’s wheelchair and starts piling things onto it.

  “Easy . . . careful . . . that’s fragile . . . ” is Rev’s nervous refrain as she constantly looks over her shoulder for signs that they are being watched. Shawna rolls her eyes. If her parents weren’t woken up by the garage door being opened, they probably won’t wake up any time soon. Her Dad sleeps like a rock. And he snores, blocking out any sound her Papa might hear.

  It takes four trips to get everything into the van. As they roll the bass drum up the ramp, completing their packing, Shawna goes back to survey the now-empty garage. She sighs. It’s strange, seeing it like this. They had to bring their instruments to the charity event, sure, but that had felt so impermanent. This time, it feels like they won’t be able to go back.

  Cass taps the side of the van. “Shawna. We gotta go, girl! Reminisce on your own time.”

  Shawna turns to her, takes one last look in the garage, pulls the frayed rope to bring the door back down, and runs to join her bandmates. She closes the van door behind her, feeling the nervous tension coming off all of them in waves.

  Cass starts up the van again. She backs out of the driveway and tears up the asphalt into the night. Shawna watches as her house, her garage, grow farther and farther away with a sense of dread and excitement. She feels nauseated, though that might just be Cass’s driving.

  As soon as they’re about to turn onto the highway, Cass rolls down the window and shouts into the night. “HECK YEAH! COME AND TRY TO STOP US! WHOOOOOOOOOOO!”

  Rev looks at her like she’s crazy, then turns back to Shawna to see if she shares the sentiment. Shawna just smiles and shrugs. She rolls down her own window and howls into the night with Cass. Eventually, Rev joins them.

  Sweet freedom.

  Sweet opportunity.

  THE NERVOUS EXCITEMENT OF THE NIGHT WEARS off as the sun rises high into the sky. By seven o’clock, Shawna’s phone has rung a total of fifteen times and she’s lost track of the amount of texts she’s received. All from her parents. Rev and Cass’s phones have been hit just as hard.

  “I . . . I can’t do it anymore!” Rev says on the twenty-seventh ring of her phone.

  “Just turn it off!” Cass says, reaching for the phone. Rev holds it out of her reach. It’s still ringing.

  “Give it to me!” Cass demands. The van swerves as she grabs at Rev’s arm. Rev and Shawna scream before Cass rights the vehicle.

  “Stop being so stubborn,” Cass growls, eyes glued to the road now.

  “Rev, seriously,” Shawna says once her heartbeat returns to its normal rhythm, “just turn it off already.”

  “No! What if something important happens? What if someone dies o-or I miss something or we have to call the police or . . . ”

  “Nothing like that is going to happen and you know it,” Cass says, knuckles turning white.

  “How would you know!?” Rev says.

  Shawna takes this moment of distraction to take the phone from her and shut it down.

  “Hey!” Rev says, turning in her seat and reaching for her phone.

  Shawna shoves it under her butt. “It’s for your own good,” she says.

  “It’s for all our own good,” Cass says.

  Rev folds her arms and turns back around, glaring out the window. Everyone is silent and tense. They have two days to get to their gig and they probably have their parents and possibly even the police on their tail. They’re runaways now.

  And isn’t that just rock ’n’ roll?

  Shawna is driving, Cass is in the passenger’s seat, and Rev is in the back, squished up against their equipment. They all learned how to drive Cass’s van as soon as they were able to drive, with the gas and brake being hand gears instead of at their feet. It’s like a stick shift, only not like that at all.

  Shawna has the classic-rock station playing quietly since Cass is sleeping and Rev was instructed to take a nap. Rev can’t relax enough to do so.

  “It’s going to be great,” Shawna says, watching her through the rearview mirror.

  “It’s going to be hell when we get back,” Rev mutters into the window.

  “Don’t think about that,” Shawna says. “Live in the moment! Think about the stage! Imagine all those people cheering for us as we play the songs you wrote. Won’t that be wonderful?”

  Rev turns to look at Shawna through the mirror. “And what if that doesn’t happen? What if they just hate us?”

  “We can’t just make decisions based on what might happen, Rev.”

  Rev grunts and turns back to the window.

  “It’s going to be great,” Shawna repeats, both for Rev and herself. “You’ll see.”

  Shawna has been driving for three hours. In the back seat, Rev finally managed to get some sleep and Cass is still snoozing away. Both girls snore, which is irritating, but Shawna tries to concentrate on the road and the low-volume music she has the radio tuned to.

  Except it’s on a commercial. She wonders why she ever bothers with radio. She has plenty of music on her phone and Pandora is just as good an option.

  Except Cass neglected to tell her where the aux cord is, and if Shawna turns her phone back on now, she knows that she will drown in the probably million-and-one notifications from her parents and other worried adults. Besides, she’s not supposed to look at her phone while she’s driving, especially when she’s driving Cass’s van.

  She can feel her head pounding. Her eyes want to close. She didn’t get any sleep last night at all. Not even while she was in the back seat. She had been too excited, too nervous, or too busy packing and unpacking and repacking her stuff. She’s going to have to wake one of her bandmates up, and soon.

  Rev has just gotten to sleep and probably won’t be any more awake at the wheel than Shawna, so she doesn’t want to wake her up. Cass, on the other hand, is nearly impossible to wake up. She sleeps like more than a log, or even a rock. The only reason she ever makes it to school on time is because she has incredible control over her internal clock. Of course, this also means that she can decide when she wants to sleep through class, but that’s beside the point.

  The point is that Cass is not going to wake up until whatever time she has deemed appropriate, another bit of information she neglected to share with Shawna and Rev.

  Shawna is considering pulling into a parking lot so she doesn’t crash the van when Cass yawns and stretches.

  “Hey,” Cass mumbles, smacking her lips. “Noon already?”

  “Yes!” Shawna says. “And about time for you to take over.”

  Cass lets out a long groan. “What about Rev? Isn’t it her turn?” she says.

  “How do you know we didn’t switch off while you were asleep?”

  “Because you didn’t.” Cass cracks her neck. “It’s her turn. She has to pull her weight.”

  “She just got to sleep.”

  “And?”

  “And I’m not comfortable being driven around by someone who’s half asleep, Cass.”

  “Whoa. Touchy. Sounds like she’s not the only one who’s half asleep, here. Why didn’t you nap while I was driving?”

  Shawna doesn’t answer. She doesn’t believe that Cass didn’t notice the tension. Nothing less than a chainsaw would be sufficient to cut it. “I’ll pull over at the next exit and we can switch,” she says, instead.

  The two are silent for a few minutes, nothing but the sound of the engine, Rev’s snores, and the radio station switching between commercials and static.

  “Are you two sure you’re okay to do this?” Cass asks.

  “Huh?” Shawna says, not allowing the odd question to distract her from looking for exit s
igns.

  “I mean, I don’t want to go through all this and have it be a bust, you know,” Cass says.

  “What are you talking about? They’re gonna love us!” Shawna says. She feels like she just had this conversation with Rev, and Cass doesn’t usually remind her of Rev.

  “No, that’s not what I mean,” Cass says. Shawna can practically hear the eye roll. “I mean, I don’t want to be halfway there and then have you guys chicken out on me.”

  “What?” She risks a glance at Cass this time, just to see if she’s serious. “Come on. Why would we ever do something like that?”

  “Hmm, let’s think. Maybe because Rev is basically Mrs. Chicken.”

  “She’s not a chicken,” Shawna says, a stern note in her tone. “She’s just nervous, is all. We all are.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Which is why you’ve been so quiet.”

  “What, you want me to snore even louder?”

  “You know what I mean. Cass, you can’t just pretend that this whole thing isn’t nerve-racking. We snuck out, we basically stole your parent’s van—”

  “Uhm, this is my van. Not theirs.”

  “You can’t say that this isn’t new territory for us! You have to admit—”

  “You’re gonna miss the exit.”

  Shawna almost does and she doesn’t have enough time to slow down before she gets to it. The turn shifts everyone and everything in the van. The tires squeal and a cymbal crashes to the floor. Shawna and Cass wince when they hear it.

  Rev opens her eyes. She’s groggy and confused and mumbling frightened, half-asleep nonsense. Cass turns back to look at her. She starts vocalizing a soft, slow song she learned in choir. Shawna recognizes it, so she harmonizes.

  Soon, Rev is back to sleep and Shawna is parking at a gas station. “We’re not gonna chicken out, Cass,” she says. “You know us better than that. We’re committed to this.”

  “Yeah, whatever,” Cass says, still watching Rev, making sure she’s asleep. She turns back to Shawna. “Just shut up and get out of the driver’s seat so I can climb into it.”

  Shawna opens the door.

  “And get me some coffee while you’re at it.” Cass digs into the glove compartment and hands her a wad of crumpled-up bills. “Don’t want someone half asleep driving the van.”